Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.
Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin !!
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
Chocolate, men, coffee – some things are better rich.
Coffee has two virtues: it’s wet and warm.
Espresso is to Italy, what champagne is to France.
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
A morning without coffee is like sleep. ~Author Unknown
I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee. ~Flash Rosenberg
Here's a fun little story that was emailed to me:
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He
wanted to plant his annual tomato
garden, but it was very difficult work, as
garden, but it was very difficult work, as
the ground was hard. His only son,
Vincent, who used to help him, was in
prison. The old man wrote a letter to
his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too
old to be digging up a garden
plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over... I know
you would be happy to dig the
plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's
where the bodies are buried...
Love, Vinnie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire
area without finding any bodies. They
apologized to the old man and left. Later
that week the old man received another
letter from his son:
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes
now. That's the best I could do
under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie
WARNING THIS VIDEO CONTAINS ADULT ANGUISH!
Look on the bright side, you're probably better off than this guy...
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door.
The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.
Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became
despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was
in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin.
The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband onto the stretcher and began carrying him to the street.
While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down
the remaining stairs and broke his arm.
AND THIS GUY
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask. A postmortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries.
Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
the above courtesy of www.anvari.org
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